Bleach remix!
by kyaheart246
Summary: Ichigo meets this girl name rukia. They end up meeting whack job, fighting the evil fun taker an the cokeacola guy! Come and join this gay but funny story! Come to the world of bleach the remix!


**Bleach REMIX!!!!**

**HA HA!!!**

_**By:**_

_**Mrs.Kurosaki**_

_**&**_

_**Mrs. Hitsugaya**_

_**Introduction:**_

Hello, my name is Ichigo Kurosaki. I'm 15 years old. I live with my, NOOOOOO!!! BANG!!!! You ass-munch! Were not doing that gay little played-out introduction. Yo! This is the introduction of bleach the remix! I'm Mrs.Kurosaki and this is home-dog Mrs.Hitsugaya! This starts out as this ass-munch behind me meets this bitch named rukia! Hnbfgvrebui! Shut up Ichigo! ( Ichigo is tied to a chair and has duck tape over his mouth.) Were running the show now! So lets not wait! Lets get started with chapter 1!!!! Oh wait, I have to show you this first. Must follow the law they say…….

**Warning!:**

While reading this story you may feel sick or get dizzy. If that happens stop reading for now and come back later. We are not responsible for any **loss of life **or if you go **blind **or **lose your voice or hearing and WHATEVER!!!!! **Make sure you read the whole story or we'll put you in our** fun-box!!! **We'll put it **on fire and throw it over a cliff! **Thank you and **please try this at home**.

Thank god it's over! So without anything to do let's get to chapter 1!!! Yea!!! **WHO THE HELL ARE YOU?????!!!! **The guy who made the show. Oh, ok.

**THIS MESSAGE IS FOR THE RETARTS , WHO DIDN****'****T GET THE FREAKIN****' ****CLUE THAT WERE STARTING THE NEXT CHAPTER **

**CHAPTER ONE!!**

**WHACK JOB GROUP!!! **

Narrarator: This all started out as Ichigo was coming home from school. He helped a spirit, then went home. As he walked in the door, his dad nailed him. They got into a fight. It's all because Ichigo wouldn't help to plan some guy's party that he didn't know about. Ichigo's sisters didn't care because they were having dinner. After Ichigo won the fight, he went to his room without eating dinner. His dad was crying because he lost and didn't get dinner. That's when the really messed up stuff starts to happen. As Ichigo is layed down on his bed, this girl he doesn't know comes in through his wall. Ichigo sees her and is like **"WTF?!!!!" **The girl doesn't notice that Ichigo sees her. So Ichigo get up and kicks her in the back.

Ichigo: What are you doing here Amy?!! I told you for the hundredth time that I'm not going to get that freakin' cool aid guy for your party damn it!!! I HATE the cool aid guy the way he just comes in the freakin' wall and screams OH YEA!!!! I'm like OH NO!! You better fix this wall before my dad sees this or I'm going to get beat with a toaster! Also my dad is going to get all freaky. OK!!!!!

Rukia: Who's Amy?

Ichigo: Oh you're not her?

Rukia: No.

Ichigo: Then who are you and why did you come through my wall?

Rukia: Oh, this isn't the Mexican store?

Ichigo: No. Were you also pushed into making this party?

Rukia: Yea. Oh, my bad I'm Rukia. **Pg.1**

Ichigo: Well hi Rukia. **Pg.2**

Rukia: Well I'm really impressed that you can see me.

Ichigo: Why?

Rukia: I'm a dead party put together person. Those crazy people came to my resting place and ask me if I would help them put together they're party. Of course I say no, but they're like if you don't we won't leave you alone.

Ichigo: Wow sorry.

Rukia: It's ok, but will you help me?

Ichigo: Ok.

Rukia: Thanks. Come to think of it, I don't have a place to sleep.

Ichigo: Do you want to sleep here?

Rukia: Yea. Not only am I here to help with these peoples party, but I came to warn you that I from the party society. We help people with parties and save them from the evil funtaker. He takes away your fun.

Allie: NOOOOOOOOOOO!

Mrs.Kurosaki: Where did you come from Allie?

Allie: I came from my house because the evil funtaker took away my inflated pool. Also I came in for the free doughnuts!!!!

Mrs. Hitsugaya: **WHAT???!!!!! FREE DOUGHNUTS???!!!! **

Mrs.Kurosaki: Yea. People lets get back to the story!

Rukia: We think he'll come after you next. You seem to have a lot of fun.

Ichigo: Well you got that right, I got whacked friends.

Rukia: Whacked huh?

Rukia: Yea. Oh, also have you seen the little Mexican bean guy with the hat.

Ichigo: Why?

Rukia: I stole all his beans and nuggets. So he might be after me.

Ichigo: REALLY???!!!

Yuzu: Big brother!!!

Ichigo: What is it Yuzu?

Yuzu: All our beans and nuggets are gone!!! What are we going to have for dinner??!! I was going to use those beans and nuggets. Not to be bad or anything but half of them were bad.

Rukia: (In the background) Wow, I don't feel good.

Ichigo: Now I know where they went.

BOOM!!!! AHHHHH!!!

Ichigo: What was that! Oh no, my dad and sisters!

Rukia: Hold on Ichigo, I'm scenting something very evil, evil, evil, evil, evil, evil, evil, evil, evil, evil.

Ichigo: **Well shut up and lets go down stairs! Damn you can talk FOREVER!!! ****Pg.3 **

Evilfuntaker: Oh Rukia, Ichigo!! **Pg.4**

Rukia: **OH SHIT!!!!!**

Ichigo: WHO ARE YOU???!!!!

Rukia: Ichigo, that's the evil funtaker!!!!!!

Ichigo: WHAT!!??? DOOM!!

Coolaid guy: Oh yea!!

Rukia: NO!! Now the cool aid guy joined up with the evil funtaker!!!

Ichigo: SEE!! I told you! That cool aid guy comes through the freakin' wall!!

Rukia: Yea, you're right we'll sooooo not invite him to the party!

Coke-a-cola guy: COKE-A- COLA!!!

Mrs.Kurosaki: What the hell is the coke-a-cola guy doing here??!! He's not even suppose to be in this remix!! GUARDS!! TAKE HIM OUT!!! As a matter a fact take him to the mental place. OK!!!

Coke-a-cola guy: No!!! You must have coke-a-cola!!!!!

Mrs. Hitsugaya: Hey, Mrs.Kurosaki!! Waz-up!! COKE-A-COLA!!!!!!!! HEY!!! I'm SOOOOOOOOOOOOOO happy look at me, I'm Mrs.Hitsugaya 1-2-3!!!

Mrs.Kurosaki: Great!!! Now Mrs.Hitsugaya is all high off soda!!! Who is going to help me with the whack-jobs!!!! She has become one of them!!! BANG,BANG,BANG!!! (hitting head against the table.) Anyway back to the story!!! **Pg.5**

The Mexican Bean Guy: Give me back my beans and nuggets!!!

Rukia: What?!!! Now the Mexican guy has join up with the funtaker??!!!

Evil funtaker: That's EVIL funtaker.

Ichigo: Evil huh?

Mrs.Kurosaki: He doesn't look so evil to me!!! Mrs.Hitsugaya looks more evil in the morning when she gets up in the morning!!

Mrs.Hitsugaya: Hey!!! Do NOT!!!!

Evil funtaker: Yea. Get him my little Evil funtakers!!!

Ichigo: No!!!

Rukia: Ichigo look out!

Ichigo: Ahhhhhhh! Huh? BOOM!

Mrs.Kurosaki: Bang! HA! Take that!

Rukia: Mrs.Kurosaki and Mrs.Hitsugaya??!!!

Mrs.Kurosaki: You hurt Ichigo now die!!! (pulls out a tommy gun!!!)

Rukia: But your suppose to use a sword!

Mrs.Kurosaki: Hell no! BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG!!!!!

Mrs. Hitsugaya: DAMN!!!! Nice shot Mrs.Kurosaki!!!

Mrs.Kurosaki: Thanks Mrs.Hitsugaya!!

Rukia: OMG!!!! She killed the evil funtaker and the Mexican guy and the cool aid guy!!

Mrs.Kurosaki: That's what you get!

Rukia: Who is she?

Ichigo: She's my girlfriend.

Rukia: WOW!!

Mrs.Kurosaki: You ok Ichigo?

Ichigo: Yea thanks to you!

Mrs.Kurosaki: You're welcome. Bye!

Ichigo: Wait where are you going?

Mrs.Kurosaki: Home, why?

Ichigo: I wanted to see if you're go to the movies on Saturday.

Mrs.Kurosaki: Sure, ok.

Ichigo: Alright! What time should I pick you up? 7.

Mrs.Kurosaki: Yea ok!! Bye!

Rukia: Bye!! Wow, nice girlfriend.

Ichigo: Thanks.

Rukia: Wait, where are you going?

Ichigo: To bed, Why?

Rukia: What about you're family?

Ichigo: I all ready took them to there beds, they should wake up soon.

Rukia: So what about the cool aid guy and the Mexican guy?

Ichigo: What about them?

Rukia: We just can't leave them there!

Ichigo: Oh yes we can!

Rukia: Well you're right it is 9 already.

Ichigo:Besides, you're going to our school right?

Rukia: Yea.

Ichigo: Well, you need to go to bed early, because you got to get up early.

Rukia: You said your family was in bed right?

Ichigo: Yea.

Rukia: Ok. I'm going to replace there memories.

Ichigo: Ok. Well I'm in my room getting ready for bed if you need me.

Rukia: Ok. Goodnight!

Ichigo: Goodnight!

**The End of Chapter One!**

**The Preview Of The Next Chapter!!!**

The world is going to end!! The starwalkers have no choice but to kill there own leader! The end battle, the good vs. evil!!!! Make sure you don't miss the next chapter!!!

Mrs.Kurosaki: **WTF!!!!** What the?!!! Damn it!! Our preview got mixed up with Fucking stars-wars!!!! **I HATE STARS-WARS!!!!** They should get all of them self's blown up! Away you weird thing!!!

Weird Thing: Uyrrewoiow!!!!

BANG!! (hit it with a bat)

Mrs.Kurosaki: Anyway, come back for the next chapter or we'll put you in the fun-box with the stars-wars people! **PEACE OFF MY LUNCH ALLIE!! **While you guys are gone we'll eat lunch!! Oh, the next chapter is about Michael Jackson!!!!!!!

Michael Jackson: Come all little boys!! Were having a party!!!

Mrs.Kurosaki: You should be arrested!!

Michael Jackson: I have already!!

Mrs.Kurosaki: Now I see why. Anyway, we're out!!

**Names of People!!**

**Popularity **

Ichigo - 100

Rukia - 100

Mrs.Kurosaki - 1000

Mrs.Hitsugaya - 1000

Michael Jackson - -900000000000000000000

Cool aid guy - 2

Evil Funtaker - 5

Mexican bean guy - 1

Ichigo's Family - 100

**THE REAL CHART**


End file.
